Update on Dates

I had a really nice time last week with B (the friend's old roomie).  He is nice, funny and interested. :)  I hope to see him again.

Went to see Wicked on Saturday with some guy.  He was terrible.  By far, he was the most attractive I have met, but the personality was not all that.  He did nothing but talk about himself.  He was so bad, I couldn't even tell you what shoes he wore.  And you know it is a bad date when you don't totally check the guy out.  But Wicked was fabulous.

There was lots of family time this weekend.  Mother's day and all.  

Have a date Wednesday, Thursday.  Saturday afternoon is Wicked and Saturday night is girls night. Lots to look forward to.

More Dates

I have a date with a slight stranger tomorrow night. Turns out, he is the ex-roomie of a guy I work with.  I even ended up at a Killers concert with him.  I went with T and met up with the guy I work with and his old roomie.  I vaguely remember jumping up & down and singing Mr. Brightsides with the guy.  It should be interesting.

I have another date on Saturday. With a 47 year old. He asked me to go see Wicked.  Evidently, he is new to town and bought two tickets without having a date. He must not have been able to find one, as he asked me to go.  Who knows.

There are 3 more guys I am emailing with. 38, 33 and 30.  Oh and a little cutie from DSM(!!).  He is 5'8"...ummm hello! does not meet my height factor. But oh well.  We shall see.  Ooops, there is another date next week with some 44 year old.  I have been emailing this one for about 4 weeks....which is about 3 weeks longer than I like to email.  I would much rather just meet up and see.  If there is no physical chemistry, then there is really no point in emailing (at least in my mind).  

What else?? Nothing, really.  Things with the youngun seem fine. He left for the east coast this weekend and has been out.  But he has called me almost every day, and after a bad day on Sunday, things seem to be ok.  But I also didn't tell him I am going out Thursday night (or Saturday).  That might be better mentioned in passing in person.  A friend said that one of the guys reminds her of the youngun in appearance....which shocked me as I didn't see it until then.

My cute little Kris is safe on Idol....yay!! 

I have been thinking that I am going into these "dates" with a slightly defeatist attitude.  I truly don't have a whole bunch of hope about them.  Of course, only 1 was physically my type.  The others, while very nice, were not really my speed.  But I am going to change that.  I don't want my hopes too high, lest they be brutally dashed. I mean, come on. How many of these photos are actually recent?  And not that I need a hottie, but I want to be attracted to him/them.  Here is what I will do. I will reserve hope until I see them. If they are not completely unattractive to me, I will keep a positive and open attitude.  My whole "positivity rocks!" attitude has been missing (stupid J ripped that away) but I am going to try and bring it back around.

I did tell my SIL that when I am in DSM for the Coldplay concert, she needs to set something up so I can see J. I want to be toned, tan and fabulous to have him go "damn - why did I let that go??"  :)

First Kill

I had my first kill of the season.  Snakes suck.  They would top my suck it list (yes, I am still coming up with one).  I believe my house was built on a colony - no THE main colony in North O - of snakes.  I have a shitload. And I hate them.  The way they slither and startle. It just sucks.  I try to kill any I see. There was a zoologist (or someone) on the news and they said snakes are good - they keep bugs or mice or something away.  Baloney.  I don't just "live and let live". I hunt them down when I see them slithering away and kill them with the mower, with a spade, with a shovel, anything.  I then will either wrap them in bags and throw them in the garbage or leave their rotting carcass out so the smell of death will keep his family away.  The whole "scent of death" doesn't work, but I can hope, right?  Ugh.  The very first nightmare I can remember is being in a room full of snakes.  One clear memory I have from when I was really little is being in the field next to our old house, walking through the grass towards the horses and seeing the grass swaying steadily.  Snake - a big one.  I ran screaming.

Snake is a one-word advertisement for townhomes. At least I wouldn't have to mow and find them.  Oh well.  Karma is a bitch, right?

Claire had 2 soccer games this weekend.  She is too cute.  And Ben is a doll. I got some really good pics of them both.

Now on to a new week and a new slew of potential matches.

Soccer

I know nothing about soccer except they run around a lot.  The men usually have nice calves.  And they sometimes take their shirts off when they score (oh, I SO want to say something else with that!!)  My niece is playing soccer and pretty much knows as much as I do about the game at this point.  She runs half-heartedly after the ball (after her dad yells "follow the ball Claire!!").  She will look around at people.  Pretty much act like a disinterested 8 year old playing soccer.  The fun part about today: my brother is coaching them.  I think he knows less than the girls about it.  But the regular coach is out of town and asked D to take over.  D told me he hopes the ref is helpful.

New for me?  Went out last weekend and had a good time (did I write this already??)  I had a cute young guy talk to me.  I felt slightly dirty talking to him, but it was fun.  There was another guy who was 26 (it was his birthday and he showed me his id) who was talking to me - but I think to get at my friend.  I didn't feel dirty talking to him - just OLD. But it was fun.  Karma proved she has a sense of humor, as the 1st guy I met from match.com was there. He stood behind us most of the night but neither one of us acknowledged the other.  The stupid thing? He looked WAY better to me that night than the first night we met.  I am so shallow.  But I sent him a text this week and I think we may go out again.

And to prove karma keeps track - I lost $60 that night. It literally fell out of my purse (along with my id).  Ugghh. Oh well.  Listen closely and you will here Justin Timberlake's song "what goes around".

Here is one to make you go hmmmm.  The youngun? You remember him?  Well, we are really good friends. We talked about it and decided that we shouldn't have gone down the romantic path.  I told him that he was pretty much a crutch - if I had him, I didn't need to put myself out there.  And he...well, he didn't really say anything.  But whatever. We hang out a lot, he calls me a lot.  I would say he is one of my best friends now. I tell him all the crap going on and he listens.  He is still a conservative schmuck, but I have fun with him.  Well. Last night I take the movie The Wrestler (good movie) over to his house.  He had met people for drinks after work.  I was supposed to go but was pissed off at the dermatologist who told me I needed botox, filler and a laser resurfacing (more later).  I didn't want to inflict my mood on others, so I didn't go.  

Got to the youngun's house - he was in a very...playful?... mood....it was kinda weird as the youngun always acts older than I do.  He makes popcorn and we get set up on the couch.  He sits down next to me and covers us up with the blanket.  I tell you, a credit card could not have fit between our bodies because he was so close.  And I was there first - he was the one who got so cozy.  He then tries to put moves on me.  WHAT??!!??  I am like, no...nothing is happening.  Well, he wants to lay down to watch the movie now.  I am rolling my eyes, telling him to concentrate on the movie, all the while keeping track of where his hands are. It was crazy.  I tell him nothing is going to happen and he honestly asks "why?".  Um, well, let's see.  We are not dating. We are not in a "relationship".  And I don't do "that" unless certain criteria are met.  And none were.  He then tries to almost wheedle his way in.  I tell him "no - we went down that path and it didn't work" then "we are just crutches to each other and can't do this" then "good lord, just stop it!"  

Can you believe it?  I was completely taken off guard.  I love the relationship I have with him....the friend relationship.  I am hoping he was just loopy with alcohol and things are not weird today. 

I will have to tell the dermatologist story another time - I need to leave for the soccer game. :)

Is being picky a negative?

I have had a few "meets" with the online guys.  I am not interested in any of them.  I know I am closer to 40 than 30. I know I am not a "10" (maybe a solid 7, though ) but sheesh.  Is it wrong for me to need to be physically attracted to the guy?

The first guy was fine. Nothing overtly wrong with him.  The next guy was pasty, puffy and...slightly desperate.  He sent me an email just gushing about me.  I am great, I know this, but talking about my "radiant beauty"??? Really?  One guy was just old looking.  And if the guy has bigger boobs than I do?  Well, that just can't be a plus for my psyche.

Here is the great mystery of online dating.  Why post a picture from 10 years/30 pounds ago?  Like I am not going to notice there is a difference?  Really?  False advertising is illegal in the real world, people (isn't it?).  And when the guy is dumb enough to post a picture with a DATE on it.  No, I don't mean a female date, I mean a calendar date.  When I see a picture from 2005, I know to just keep on moving...cuz if he has to go back 4 years to find a decent picture, well enough said.

And isn't it horrible that I am even focusing on this?  But I can't help it.  If I can't find one thing that would make me want to hold his hand, then why bother?  Who would have thought the youngun and  J would mess me up for other men?  But, let me tell you, if I could just build a physical being based on those guys, I would be one happy happy girl.  I think I am going to go younger.  Obviously, I am not having luck finding guys my age.  I will go back to the cougar route.

I did call my beloved Dr. Hottie though. I left a message with his nurse to tell her that if his friend was still available, then I would be willing to be set up.  And I couldn't just casually say it -- I rambled and stuttered and generally made myself seem pretty damn stupid.  But at least I put it out there.  Oh well.  And odd - but the nurse just called me.  She is going to a party at Dr. Hottie's house tonight and is going to check things out.  Funny.

This and That

Today is Easter.  Went to church with the fam.  The pastor is very nice, but I think he can get a bit too fire and brimstone-y for me.  Oh well.  My brother and his wife came home yesterday...we hung out and the parents and played Wii then went up to a bar in MV.  We should have just stayed at the P's.  We have so much fun just hanging out.  Even before Ben & Claire came along, we always enjoyed each others company.  We can sit around and just have fun.

I can't even think of one particular thing that happened that was so fun....it just was.  It is usually after these times that I realize just how lucky I am.  The pastor, during his sermon, asked what the number one thing in our life was -- what was the foundation, the cornerstone, we built our life around.  Well, he wanted us to say Jesus.  But my immediate response was "family".  My family has shaped/molded/tormented me into the person I am today...good and bad.  And I am so very blessed.  Mom and I were talking later today and I told her that I didn't put Jesus first...I put family.  I was expecting a bit of a disappointed look or maybe just a sigh.  But she turned to me with a gleam in her eye and said "me too".  It was cute.

I feel badly for Mom today.  She has two cats, Max and Leo.  Max (aka Maxwell P Smart) was a rescue from the farm.  A big, beautiful gray tuxedo cat with a sweet, sweet personality....until my Murray came around and then Max was a bad ASS.  He tormented my Murray something fierce.  But I didn't hold it against Max cuz he was just such a chicken any other time.  Poor Max passed away this weekend.  Mom had made a comment last week that Max had lost weight. I asked if she was going to take him to the vet and she wasn't sure.  Yesterday morning, Mom said Max was pretty much incapacitated.  He was just laying by his water dish, breathing fast and shallow.  She was pretty upset...lots of crying.  Last night, at my parents, I went down and sat with Max for a bit.  I was petting him, saying what a good boy he was.  He would lift his head and look at me a bit blindly...his eyes just didn't seem to connect.  It was sooo sad.  He was gone this morning.  Mom called the vet yesterday to get him in and they said no.  Can you believe it? They said they were just too full.  It made me so mad.  This is the only vet in town...I will never take my Murray there. I don't care if Murray has to ride in a car 40 minutes...he will never see this vet.

Oh! I had a "date" Thursday night.  He was fine.  I would go again, but I just don't see much future.  And boring guy (aka carhart guy) found me online.  Seriously.  That makes 4 guys I know that have found me that I didn't WANT to find me.  I think it is a sign.  Stupid J - even after all the drama I still miss him.  Or that fabulous 8% body fat body.  

There are a few guys I am probably going to meet up with.  But not the 58 year old guys.  I mean, really. 58?  If I could guarantee he was Mr. Richie Rich and I would be his pampered trophy wife who wanted for nothing (and I got to have a kid), I would say "sign me up now!!".  But wait -- 58 is a 20 year difference.  Can't I find a Mr. Richie Rich who is only 42?  Because that would be ideal....except for the fact that HIS ideal trophy wife would most likely be in her 20's.  Hmmm.  I think I am going to need to think this through more thoroughly.

Stay tuned.  I have decided to create a "things to do before I am 40" list and a "suck-it" list (things I don't see the point in).  I am sure they will both be fabulous.

Matches

So I decided to jump back into the dating world.  Enlisted all my friends to think about any possible singles for me and joined an online dating service.  Good lord - it was like they all smelled fresh meat.  I have received a fair number of emails this first weekend.  I can't even answer them all because as soon as I get some sent out, new ones come in.  Good problem to have, I guess, but most don't seem too promising.

The main reason they aren't promising?  Age.  These guys are old!  Granted, I am in my late 30's, but still.  I look like I could pass for early 30's, but most of these look like they have lived a hard life!!  I don't care about hair/bald or even physique...a bit of chub doesn't bother me.  But their faces!  Saggy, wrinkly and old!!! Maybe they don't take the best pictures...god knows, I don't.  But couldn't they find some that don't look like mug shots?  And then there are the ones who obviously throw some ANCIENT pictures on there.  Trying to be sneaky?  Trying to show they used to be better looking than what they are??  I don't know, but that is annoying.  

But there was one guy who used secret-agent techniques to send me his photos.  He set up a gmail account, emailed his pictures to that and then emailed me the login and password.  Can you hear the song 'secret agent man, secret agent man' playing??? I could.  He was fine - but he included a picture of himself in front of a hummer.  Really??  And made sure to subtly say he saw "patients"...ok - you're a doctor.  Big whoop.  Oh well - we will play this out and see how it goes.  But these guys are forward! One asked me out for last night and others asked if I wanted to go to the Iowa or Iowa State or Nebraska spring football games. Really.

On to other topics.  Did I tell you Murray needs to have meds each day?  It is a topical solution I need to put in his ears.  And it is bad for humans, because I have a little finger condom I need to put on in order to give it.  It looks like a little Howard the Duck condom, if you recall that very old, very obscure movie.  I think I was a freshman when I saw that. Yikes.

What else?  My beloved Dr. Hottie said he wrestled with setting me up with one of his friends, but he didn't know how ethical it was.  At the time, I was seeing J, so I said no.  Now, I wish I had said yes.  I need to get a mamagram (sp?) sometime in the next year and they gave me literature on it, but I forgot it.  I think that could be my in -- I will call and talk to the nurse who works with Dr. Hottie and let her know I am up for it.  But wouldn't it be kinda weird for the guy?  Having your best friend already intimately acquainted with the girl's "parts"?  Or maybe that is just me....

Off to clean the house and respond to the emails.  I guess, at least I have lots.  How would my self-esteem be if I had none??

Update...

Yikes!  I haven't updated in ages!!  Let's see - parted ways with the guy from NYE.  Long story - with a surprising amount of drama.  How can one normal, low maintenance girl fall into crap like that?  Oh well.  

The good news is that I was able to open myself up to someone and put myself out there.  I haven't done that since my divorce.  I think I am ready to do it again...just with someone who isn't so concerned about their body that they don't leave their house without their bodybug on (a calorie counter...I mean, really.  Why didn't I realize that was an indicator of something???).  Although, guys my age look old.  How did that happen?  

What else is new?  Work is crazy.  Family is great.  Great.

I will try to update a bit more regularly...did I mention I got on twitter? I don't understand it at all.

Pilates

Whoever created Pilates is a sadist.  Truly.  I bought an exercise DVD (cardio pilates) and it was hell.  Not so much the exercises....I could get my body contorted into most of them.  The issue is clothing, people.  I had on a pair of sweats, jog bra and t-shirt.  As I am laying on my mat, rolling around (I have no idea what the names of the positions are), my back started hurting.  Not muscles, but the places where my pants and bra hit the floor.  It was like getting a rug burn, without the fun.  My back was SORE in the places the clothing hit.  It hurt to even sleep on my back that night.

Are you supposed to do this stuff naked?  I tried it again with "yoga" pants and it wasn't quite so bad. But still - what about the bra???  Oh well.  I did the video a few times and gave up.  It was $12, so I guess I got my money's worth????

The yoga dvd is nice - have been doing that regularly.  I bought another one that is like a jazzercise class.  I was flailing around, a few beats behind the instructor, but figure some movement is better than none, right?  I was a bit sore the next day, so that felt good.  The dvd says "see results after 10 sessions", so I decided I will double up - 2 a day. Do you think that will work?? Doubtful, but I will give it a go.

Nothing new on the boy front. Went to visit J after his return from Mexico.  It was good.  Didn't see him this weekend, but hope to next.  Sometimes I like the distance...I like my alone time.  But others, it would be nice to be closer.

Had an 86th birthday party for my grandma last weekend.  She has never been one of those huggy, touchy, fun grandmas, but we love her.  She is getting a bit of dementia....she told my dad that when she got home from the grocery store there was a man sitting on her couch watching tv.  She sat and talked to him for a while then got up to make some food. When she came back from the kitchen, he was gone.  Sound realistic?  She said he looked nice so she didn't call the cops.  She doesn't remember any of the conversation but absolutely swears he was real.  After that, she couldn't find her purse.  My parents and niece searched the house fully (freezer, cupboards, basement, etc) and finally found the purse lodged firmly behind a dresser.  The only way the purse could have ended up there was for grandma (or someone) to place it there.  No one is really sure what is going on with her.  She lives alone, since grandpa is in the nursing home and we can't know for sure that she is taking all her meds (some are for early alzheimers)...it seems like it would be better for her to be in the assisted living facility attached to the nursing home where grandpa is, but she refuses.  And how can you make someone who is fairly independent do that?

Saw the movie The Wrestler last weekend - it was excellent.  But the ending!!??!! My SIL and I are in complete disagreement about it, but it was still a good movie.

Murray is changing.  He needs to be around/on me anytime I am home and sitting.  I can't even type on the computer without him walking across the keyboard or laying on me with his paw on the keyboard.  He didn't used to be so...not needy, but touchy???  He would get affectionate when he wanted, but it wasn't constant.  It scares me to think of him getting older/dying.  I know he is a cat, but he is my earthly baby...I don't know what I will do when I don't have him sticking his nose in my ear and purring - or laying beside me in bed.  I shouldn't complain about the constant touching, should I? 

I go see my beloved Dr. Hottie this week...sigh.  I haven't seen him in a year and can only hope he is still as lovely as before.  I just need to remember to wear light clothing for when they weigh me. :)  That is always a downer.

Speaking of downers, I used to be a fan of The Bachelor Jason M.  But after his proposal/breakup/new girl, I am done.  No more Bachelor for me (although I like Jillian, so maybe the bachelorette).  Jason kept saying "live life with no regrets" blah blah blah. It totally reminded me of my ex.  Puke.  I have plenty of regrets...mainly all those darn delicious twinkies I ate in my 20's....they are still being carried around in my hip/butt/thigh fat.  Ohhh, they were so good going down...if only they had exited my body instead of taking up permanent residence.