I have found a website that has been a godsend - www.justmommies.com and use the boards for pregnancy loss. What wonderful ladies. They have given me a measure of peace about all that has happened. Maybe I have experienced this so many times I am finally getting used to coping with it. I don't know, but it helps. To share with other women who have been through the same thing - to learn from them and share my thoughts has been incredible.
This is what I feel right now - who knows if it will change tomorow. With each loss, we learn. Through all the grief and guilt, we gain. We may find an unknown inner strength, more compassion or a greater appreciation for all we do have (and what we will one day have). Each of my losses changed me into the woman I am today. And while I may not have had my angels for long, they somehow, in some way, made me a better person/sister/friend/daughter. I can only pray they will also make me a better mother in the future.