I can take this one of two ways: it is a sign, a positive sign, that I should go ahead. With my system being "cleaned out", that would only help to get a pregnancy. Or it could just be fate's way of playing a cruel joke on me. Sure, you can try, but then spend $400 on meds just to not have an IUI because I ran out of time.
I just don't know. I guess I will wait for the results of the ultrasound tomorrow and go from there. I do know it is not going to be fun doing the suppositories on vacation. But those things are never fun. I just don't know if I could live with myself if I had this opportunity and didn't take it - I would always wonder if this would have been my month and I didn't go for it.
I guess it is just money - and I have already spent a ton of it in this journey. I can't weigh money spent verses the chance to have a child. Arrgghh. The worst part of this journey is the uncertainty, the second guessing, the wondering...and the hope. That hope always seems to make me hurt that much more.
Ok, let's see what positives I can take from this: AF did show up, kinda on time. I have a very full two weeks in front of me, with a concert I have been looking forward to for months (yay! Dave Matthews). I am going on vacation with my family, who I absolutely adore spending time with. I cannot wait to see what is going to come out of my nephew's mouth next. He is 2 1/2. At grandma's the other day, he was looking for the cat, Max. He said "Grandma, where Max?" Grandma: "I don't know, honey. I guess you will have to call him.". His response? "Ok, where cell phone?". I think that is going to go down as my favorite Ben story for years. That kid loves to talk on the phone.
Ok, enough for now. I am in a "wait and see" mode.
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