Friday, February 13, 2009

Pain

I miss my babies. Today is a bad day.  I blog surf and one of the sites I found was talking about a recent miscarriage.  And it just hit me, again, how much I will never know.  I will never know their smiles, their personalities, their hair or eye color. I will never know the pure joy of a sweet little voice calling me mommy.  I will never get to cuddle them when they are crying or be frustrated when they won't sleep.  I will never feel their little arms giving me a hug.

Oh God, I miss my babies.  I believe they are all in heaven.  On the blog, the woman said she was mad that the angels got to see her baby first.  And I completely understand.  I am still mad - and sad and broken.  Sometimes, it is ok.  Sometimes, I can get through weeks without crying.  

Today is not a good day.

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