It can get worse

So I had a d&c and a laprascopy on Friday.  I don't think I am able to talk about it all yet.  My baby was in my right tube and the dr removed the entire tube.  Not only am I in enormous pain from the procedure, I am completely devastated by this loss.  I just can't even begin to process this enough to write anything.  I did name the baby May (my mom's middle name).  I have lost Hope, Junior and Baby May.  My 3rd child was lost before I even knew he was around - I don't know how to give him a name.